The first autobiography, I read was of Mahatma Gandhi “My experiments with Truth”. Am inspired by this book to Title this blog. The irony is that am about to make an opposite point as mentioned in Mahatma’s book.
Earlier in my entrepreneur life and you can say in my own professional world built by me, there was less space for lies or untruth. I made it clear to all my fellow colleagues/partners/team mates about my least resistance to falsehood. So was in my personal life, kept away from those who lied and if I caught them lying, I made distance with them.
In last 1 year have encountered more people lying, Is it that we have become more fakes or say more lies or is it the post truth world or we believe in the untruth we say. I don;t know if its the times we live in now or Maybe its the consulting business I am in or the Tier II town of Jaipur or maybe my project or maybe as Indians, Humans with all fake news, whats app university we as a race are lying more and are fed lies more.
In my experience people lie for below reasons.
- Less Capability & competency so they lie to hide this.
- They have something to hide & are fearful of something getting out in open, So lie
- For some Lying is Way of Life & Its their habit
- Doesn’t make a difference to them or they think what difference a little lie here and then will make.
- Some believe in the ethos of Fake it till you make it
- With lies you can Pit one against another and enjoy this from sidelines.
- Spread misinformation and misrepresent to gain for yourself or your team or the side you are on.
- To hog credit & limelight. When you are down under, its best to lie and steal the thunder.
So the above is what I have witnessed more now and its not easy for me to forgive those who do this. I too my farthest recollection never lied for the above reasons. Well but admittedly I have also lied at times. I have learned to not lie and become more courageous. I am more confident to follow the doctrine of truth or as close to the truth. To my recollection the Lies if ever I would have told was for below reasons.
- To not hurt someone. Better a lie which heals than truth that wounds. We often lie or don’t speak the truth as it might hurt someone. In these cases its best to not say anything rather than say a lie. You will be hurting people more by saying lies. I realized it the hard way and at cost of few precious relationships.
- Less value for truth. It took me time to understand the value of truth and benefits of saying the truth. Learnt Honesty is best policy in school but then LIFE happened and forgot the first moral science teaching. The above MK Gandhi book and then series of Mentors & People, I met, The Books, Movie I saw made me realize the importance of truth.
- Its always easy to lie and Get out of difficult situations then. But then those lies haunt you or keep coming back. Rather sooner than you realize, it has become a multiplier effect. It becomes a maze from where you can’t get out. Hence its easy to say truth at first and don’t let it carry ahead.
- Tit for Tat. When you get lied and you catch someones lie, you feel Its best to lie back. But then this can become a habit and get back to you nastily. Also then whats difference between you and other person.
- Play pranks: You want to play pranks on people and make them believe something else and then you forget the reasons why you lied and you continue lying. Now when I play pranks with help of lying I make it time bound and then give it up. But during my playing pranks, If I hurt someone, I apologise.
To those whom I have lied, I apologise. Please write and comment on it. To those who Lie still, its never too late to reduce and eliminate lying. Or if you dont do that soon then I will pray for you and wish that you Get well soon!! As lying is a disease and an epidemic more dangerous than cancer, HIV and will make our society unlivable.